MY STORY

Hello & Welcome! I'm Brittany Marie

I have created this space to share thoughts on the evolution of consciousness, energy work, spirituality, healing, self-love, forgiveness, cultivating compassion, and self-realization to name a few. I’ll start by sharing what lead to this path.

The Calling

Soon after high school, the calling to pursue a career as a psychotherapist became clear, accompanied by a deep sense of purpose to be of service to others. I began working in human services 14 years ago and attained a graduate’s degree in Social Work. I served in the role of a psychotherapist with a specialization in trauma for nine years and studied a wide range of healing practices to adapt to varying needs of supporting the self-development and healing process.

The Catalyst

In 2015, a series of family traumas, deaths, & the resurfacing of suppressed childhood wounds marked a turning point. I found myself on the other side of trauma—no longer just supporting others through it but now working to overcome post-traumatic stress myself.

It was the second most painful period of my life, surpassed only by the tragic loss of two close family members in a car accident during my youth.

During this time, the ego clung desperately to what was familiar—to its identity, the role of caregiver, and the ingrained sense of responsibility to put others first, even when those patterns had become deeply self-destructive and threatened both my physical and emotional safety.

The Awakening

Suddenly, it was as if time stood still. There were no thoughts, no emotions & in their absence arose a profound sense of presence— Peace, Bliss, Silence...God. I went to lie down on our Hammock in the backyard, watching a hawk sweep back and forth against a backdrop of pillowy clouds. The scene was breathtaking, as if it were the first time seeing something so beautiful. Even now, I can still see that image as clearly as I did in that moment.

In the stillness, truths of the Universe began pouring into awareness. It was as if I was remembering what had always been known: the empty nature of thoughts and emotions, the illusion of separation from Divinity, the illusion of death, how Love is the nature of all existence, and the root of suffering as the thinking mind itself.

In that space of silent presence and surrender, I found the Truth again—Spirit, Peace, and Union with the Divine. During that time, words like enlightenment, spiritual awakening, and the evolution and expansion of consciousness naturally became part of my vocabulary—concepts I had never heard of or spoken before yet now lived within me as embodied experience.

I longed to express what couldn’t be explained by the intellect—what was felt, known, and perceived in the silence beyond thought—so others might remember too, and be released from the mind’s suffering. But in my naivete, I didn’t yet understand that awakening doesn’t happen by word of mouth.

“The pain is not your ending,

it is your remembering.

It is not punishment, but a passage.

& through this sacred passage,

the light of Truth, Awareness,

& Spirit shines through,

burning away all delusion,

illusion, & ignorance,

so, we may once again rest in

Oneness with God.”

The Dark Night of the Soul

That season of my life marked my first Dark Night of the Soul—though more accurately, it was a dark night of the ego, for it signaled the beginning of the end of the personal self. It was a time of profound existential crisis. The egoic mind was reeling with confusion, doubt, separation, and overwhelming pain. At the time, I had no spiritual framework to understand what was happening. I didn’t know this experience had a name, let alone that it was part of a rite of passage that many who will walk a spiritual path cross—often not by choice, but by necessity.

Later, I came to learn this experience is called a Dark Night of the Soul—a form of spiritual initiation that marks the transition from one level of consciousness to another through the death of an old identity and the emergence of a deeper, more authentic self. Spiritual Initiation isn’t about gaining something—it’s about losing who you think you are and what you thought you needed to survive, so you can remember who you truly are beneath the roles, protections, and illusions. Little did I know, this unraveling would be the catalyst that welcomed a profound shift within awareness and a spiritual awakening would sweep in with intensity yet also a gentle grace.

Before that could happen, I reached a point of complete despair & lost the will to live. At the time, it felt as though leaving this world was the only way to be alleviated from this unbearable pain. However, this loss of will lead to a space of deep surrender born of exhaustion as the ego was stretched beyond the limits of what it thought it could endure.

In that breaking point, I found myself calling out to God with everything in me. My mind was so disoriented by the pain that I wasn’t praying for healing, I was praying for release. I longed to feel anything other than that depth of suffering, and I pleaded with God to take it from me in any way possible.

After a couple of weeks resting in that peaceful presence, human perception returned & veiled this enlightened state. The challenges of the ego & thinking mind resurfaced—but now with a deeper understanding & inner strength. Pain revealed its purpose: to serve as fuel in the alchemy of consciousness, transmuting darkness into light—illusion into truth—and drawing us ever closer to Spirit.

Pain led to an initiation by fire—where illusion and ignorance were transmuted into spiritual awareness. The soul emerged to begin its integration, and from that moment forward, the mind and body were forever changed. A new Will, Intent, and Devotion emerged: to seek Healing, Self-Realization, Truth, and Union with God. Enlightenment now became life’s guiding purpose, along with the heartfelt desire to help others remember that same peace, meaning, and light within themselves.

Kundalini & Shadow Work

A couple of years later, I came across a blog article about Kundalini Awakening—a synchronistic moment that, unknowingly, pointed to what was already beginning to unfold. I had no idea this would be the next chapter of my spiritual journey, quietly preparing itself in the background. I share more about this awakening in depth on my YouTube Channel, so if you feel called to explore how it unfolded, you’ll find links below to my personal story.

That said, moments of self-realization do not eliminate suffering, nor do they erase the need to heal from our past, old conditioning, and often from wounds carried across lifetimes.

Spiritual awakening does not bypass the inner work; it deepens it. These awakenings invite us—sometimes demand us—to face our shadow, to know ourselves fully, to accept, love, and forgive all parts of who we are. Only through this inner work can we begin to truly realize our Divine Nature and the profound interconnectedness of all life.

Awakening is only the beginning. While some moments are expansive and life-altering, much of the spiritual path is found in the simple moments of presence, forgiveness, realization, and acceptance. To support and cultivate these moments, the ongoing work of healing through introspection, self-compassion, somatic processing, energy work, and the study of spiritual teachings has become a central part of my path. Often referred to as shadow work, this is the practice of meeting the unconscious, healing emotional wounds, and integrating the forgotten or rejected parts of ourselves. This inner work helps to purify the layers of conditioned thought, emotional residue, and unconscious patterning that veils the sacred moments of clarity and peace.

A New Path

Several years ago, I felt an inner pull to one day share my healing and spiritual journey on YouTube. At the time, I was working full-time in clinical practice and later opened a successful private practice, where I got to work with spiritual seekers from all walks of life—each bringing their own unique perspectives and wisdom. The clients I worked with taught me more than I can express and expanded my understanding in ways I’ll forever be grateful for.

Still, the dream to share on a broader scale kept growing and began pressing more strongly on my heart. I truly believed counseling would be my lifelong career path, and for a while, I hoped I could somehow do both. But creating meaningful content is no small task—and over time, I found myself slowly outgrowing the traditional mental health model. My framework was beginning to shift, opening into something more expansive, integrative, and spiritually rooted.

As life often does, the Universe threw me a curveball that ultimately led me out of my counseling career. The growing tension between clinical work and my deepening spiritual path became harder to ignore. Though I was devoted to helping others, I began to feel an inner misalignment—one I hadn’t fully acknowledged until it became impossible to avoid.

Cue the second Dark Night of the Soul.

Unexpected professional challenges emerged, bringing a wave of burnout and another egoic identity crisis. I found myself grieving the loss of a role I had poured my heart into—only realizing after it was gone just how deeply my ego had become identified with the work as a therapist. The transition was painful and uprooting. The ego can cleverly cloak itself in a new spiritual identity and purpose, even beneath the good intentions of being of service.

Once again, I found myself caught in the illusions of the ego and the ache of perceived separation. Spiritual awakening does not exempt us from the ego's powerful grip. Though the pain was intense & overwhelming at times, there was a dual awareness that this was another deep layer of healing and karmic balancing—inviting me to release rooted egoic attachments and live more authentically in alignment with Spirit. Choosing this path often requires the courage to step outside modern systems, knowing it may be misunderstood or dismissed.

What felt like a breakdown was, in truth, a difficult yet beautiful redirection that would have been difficult for me to make on my own. In that unraveling, I was being freed to step into this new calling.

Holistic Healing

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As my inner life deepened, so did my understanding of what true healing entails. I found myself moving beyond the boundaries of clinical mental health frameworks and into the deeper realms of spirituality, meditation, and energy work. This wasn’t just a shift in tools—it was a transformation in perspective. Healing became less about fixing and more about remembering, less about analysis & diagnosis and more about presence & self-discovery.

I came to see that trauma and pain weren’t simply symptoms to manage, but invitations—catalysts guiding us toward deeper truth. Eventually, it became clear I was being called to walk a holistic path—one rooted in spiritual integration, self-inquiry, and embodied transformation.

The spiritual path has taught me that wholeness is not something we achieve; it’s something we uncover by peeling back the layers that have hidden our true nature.

My intention in sharing this journey is to offer a hand to those navigating their own transformation—to reflect what’s possible, to normalize the messy middle, and to remind us that we are not alone and are Divinely supported. May this space serve as both mirror and soul medicine for those healing, awakening, and finding their way back to the Divine source within.

If you would like a more in-depth look at the unfolding of my spiritual & kundalini awakenings, you can find that here in these two blog & video posts.

When I am not doing work within consciousness or sharing on the evolution of consciousness

I am spending time with our pure-bred Angel Dogs Khalia & Axl (Axl we feel is the re-incarnate of our past pup Champ which I plan to share more on that story in the future😊).